Life | Medicate My Mind

With all that has been going on lately, it has taken its toll on my health. Got back from the doctor's this morning, and the day is beautiful. The blue sky took my mind of the headache I was having.

These past two weeks, I could hardly sit in front of my computer and update my blog. There has been so much going on in my life that I am actually burnt out.

On medical leave today for cough and touch of the flu. I have been feeling that I was coming down with something since Monday, especially in the afternoon. Aches in the joints and sore throat come and go until last night when I could not sleep but cough violently throughout the night and woke my wife and son with it.

I had to sleep in the living room to not disturb their sleep. Wify has her new shop to tend to and son has school in the morning, so I muffled my consistent coughing with the pillow. Finally dosed-off at close to 4:00am when I last looked at the wall clock.

My spirits are not high, with all the people leaving at work. The fate of the people I am in-charge of is also uncertain; like a buffet spread, take anything you need and discard anything you cannot finish.

These are good capable people, but no higher management left to vouch for that, even for me. We are left to the "elements" now.

Apart from that, I have been taking leave off from work to send my Mom and Dad to the doctors for the medical check-ups and tests. In fact, tomorrow is another day to accompany my Mom for the results of her MRI she underwent a week ago.

This will tell us what she will need and to decide whether to take long-term medication or opt for surgery. Her misaligned lower spine is pinching on her nerve when she bends down or twist to the side.

This explains the frequent leg numbness and painful cramps she has been having all of a sudden, especially during cold days. Hope there is a permanent solution to correct this, so that she can live her golden years happily.

Dad's colonoscopy will be next in mid June at SGH, so I will be the one again to accompany him. Both wish that I will be the one to accompany them, since they trust in my judgement and level of understanding when I confer with the doctors and convey the message to the rest of my siblings for a family decision.

I am not complaining, I am touched that Mom and Dad trust me so much and depend on me. It is my duty too as a filial son. It is only right, but I feel so much responsibilities from all directions and facets of my life right now, it is overwhelming at times.

I just need some time alone for myself to take a breather, but I am have left with no more annual leave in my book to take. Not even enough to take a little vacation this June with my family during the school holidays.

Looks gloomy and overwhelming, but the only nice thing that is happening right now it our little shop that my wife tends to right now.

Open for business since 4th April 2006, the only thing we hope is that customers like our products from the selections and choices we made. We just have to wait and see.

I realise the most weight of my concern is the uncertainty of my work; am I ready to go out of my comfort zone and go into retail business with my wife?

Can it sustain our family with this business. Am I making the right choice, the right timing, because I know I cannot work there much longer... elements or not? The rest I can handle.

Need to take lunch and my medication and then back to sleep. I need lots of rest, at least for today, the only day I feel that I have time for myself to do nothing, not responsible for any thing. At least for today.