Family | Happy Father's Day!

My Dad does not celebrate Father's Day.

Born in 1926 with no day or month for his birth date, I do not think he is even aware that there is such a day set aside to honour fathers around the world. Nevertheless, I wish him Happy Father's Day all the same.


Precision and Pride

I love my Dad dearly, but until today, I never really know my Dad.

Being the 2nd last child in the family, I was always perceived as too young to understand adult conversation. Never had a "man-to-man" conversation with him before.

I remember Dad worked for Singapore Telecoms all his life until he retired.

He was meticulous in his work. From his phone wire-fittings to writing his service reports. He did them with such precision and pride it showed without effort.

His handy work around our village home was exemplary to this children, the boys especially. From painting the walls to building a cement staircase, he took pride in everything he did.

He still does. His present Woodlands home is clean and orderly, his garden outside always blooming with multi-coloured flowers. He is like a silent perfectionist. A man of few words.


Strong Man, Strong Will...

Till today, I still think that it was awesome man.

Almost mind boggling to think how he managed to feed, clothed and educate all 8 of his children, with just a salary of an Artisan.

Working overtime most days, he was away most of my waking childhood hours and only get to see him on weekends.

We either did chores, fixing stuff around the house and compound, or we had our family outing... to Changi Beach for picnics on weekends.

Of course, apart from raising us, Mom helped out with getting extra cash from cooking and selling breakfast and traditional Malay cakes from home.

All that sacrifices and family fun for their 8 children. 11 in all, if 3 of my siblings survived.


Trade-in Sports For Family

Dad was into sports when he was single. He left all that when he had us.

He was into soccer, boxing and weight-lifting. He was an avid bodybuilder. An awesome one too.

I only knew this when I saw a photo of him posing during a bodybuilding competition, I think. He had an awesome build.

He told us once that he was good at it that the guys in his gym asked him to coach them instead of competing with him. That was the only photo of him in his 20s that I got to see. Another was on his wedding day.

Both photos had since gone missing after we moved to Tampines New Town.

Today, he only watches sports on TV. I am the only son who picked-up bodybuilding. My 3 brothers are avid soccer fans.

I am humbled that he sacrificed many of the things he loved for his family.


Don't Mess With Dad!

Like any young, hot-blooded Dad with lots of children, his patience was very thin.

A strict and fearsome father, I heard "terrifying" stories about Dad from my sisters and brothers. No nonsense authority figure. Almost merciless!

My eldest brother usually got the brunt of Dad's wrath.

Being the oldest, he had to be exemplary to the rest of his siblings. So when they misbehaved, he got it together with them, but his being the most severe.

Like all children, being curious and mischievous are part of testing our parents' patience and boundaries.

I had my fair share too. I remember getting a "taste" of his belt on several occasions. One being 10 years of age and stubborn.

It was a monsoon season and rained heavily that day in the village. From our veranda, I could see the water level rising, flooding the lower half of our village. All that mustard-coloured water was just too tempting for me.

I sneaked out even after being warned not to and joined the other village boys to play in the rain and diving into the chest-deep muddy water. Awesome!

I had the best time of my childhood life.

When the fun ended and dripping wet, dirty and I guess... smelly, I got a piece of Dad's wrath after taken my bath and got cleaned up.

I retreated to my safe place and stayed there until I fell asleep most times... under the bed where Dad had difficulty getting to me. By the time I came out, Dad's anger had already subsided like the flood outside.

Not proper discipline by western standards, but I grew-up good, no qualms about his methods, no scars to show, no grudges at all. I guess I asked for it.

Anyway, I still think that, that particular day was darn worth it!


The Gift Of Gifts

I never had a birthday party of my own in my life before, so no presents for me, like my other siblings.

So when I actually got the first one from Dad, a Casio digital watch for being top 3 in my class final exams in secondary 1. It stuck with me till today.

I kept the watch long after it stopped working in my drawer. I lost it when we moved.


Dad Yesterday, Today and Forever

Dad is the typical old-fashion macho man, of few words.

His last surgery had transformed him tremendously. He is open to all things new.

By that I mean affection was not easily shown as far back as I can remember, but he has mellowed so much and not afraid to show it openly anymore.

Chattier and willing to share good and bad experiences with us all.

In my eyes, my Dad was...

• A Mentor, whom I learnt right from wrong as a child.
• A Superman, when I realized the world was a tough place to be when I became a working adult.
• An Hero of all times, when I get to know him better these few years... the silent victor of life's tough lessons thrown at him.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

My all-time Hero.